What You Win Them With is What You Win Them To

The Convincing Game

A way to view life is that we are all in a state of convincing somebody or in a state of being convinced. A company convinces you to work for them, you convince somebody to buy your product, your mother convinces you to do the chores, you convince your significant other to marry you.

We often view these “Convincing games” being won when the other person is convinced. Meaning after that, we stop putting effort to play the game anymore. Think of the married husband who stopped putting effort to date his wife. Think of companies that have a great customer experience up until the point of purchase, and then it all goes downwards from then on.

The reason is this, there’s a mismatch between what was used to win them over with and what was actually experienced.


Think of dating. When the guy is in love, he would do anything for her. Date nights at the movies, fancy champagne at the restaurants, a diamond ring. But once the girl is won, he slowly neglects the grand gestures of love and reverts back to his original demeanor.

The girl is then surprised! The version of the man she fell in love with is no longer the same guy.

Now, hit rewind and play the scenario a million ways. Furthermore, you can think also in terms of friendship and family as well. It all stems from this idea that what you expected was not what was experienced.


I was discussing with a friend recently about his current workplace job. He interned there and liked the company. Deciding to become a permanent staff, he experienced a huge culture shift. It became a horrible working experience for him.

Again, a mismatch.

We can see this scenario play out in multiple ways. Perhaps it’s empty promises made by the interviewer or inaccurate job descriptions for a new role.

Thoughts and Musings

As I’ve been thinking about it, I’ve come to a few conclusions.

Being yourself is the best long-term strategy for friendship.

Whether that might be as a friend, lover, or colleague. If people like you, It’s because of who you are and what you are not.

Especially in the context of romance, the phrase “Just be you” has a lot of wisdom.

The right words can still mislead people when conveyed wrongly.

The words are correct, but the takeaway point is entirely different. Being a public speaker, it’s easy to mislead people with the right words but the wrong emphasis.

The worst decisions we made stem from partial information rather than from inaccurate information.

There is no greater cost than believing in something that is not what it seems. Make sure that you are won over with truth and only the truth.


Do You know what you are getting yourself into?

Relient K – Getting Into you.

I want to write shorter blogs. I’ve been reading Morgan Housel who has been a huge inspiration in terms of my blogging adventure.

Whoever says the most stuff in the fewest words wins”
– The sage, Morgan Housel

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